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Is Being a Single Mom Different From Being a Single Dad 

I wrote an article on how to make it as a single mom and I got a debate started over rather or not being a single mom was different from being a single dad. I would have to say that it is and I will tell you why I believe this.  

When a child is born, it is often up to the mother to take care of the children but, a lot of fathers  are now stepping up and playing the mother role as well.  

Here is what use to happen when a couple had a child:  

  • The mother would stay home with the children 
  • The mother would tend to the home 
  • The father would work 
  • The mother would continue to take care of the home even after the husband got off of work 
  • The mother would continue to take care of the children even after the husband was off of work.  
  • The chores were not split equally due to the men feeling that because they worked and made money, this should be left to the women.  

What should happen when both parents work: 

  • Both parents tend to the children 
  • Both parents tend to the home 
  • Everything is split equally due to both parents working 

What should happen if only one parent works (this doesn't matter if it is the male or female): 

  • The person staying home should take care of the home and kids until the spouse gets off of work.  
  • When the other parent gets off of work, everything from that point on should be split equally with both parties realizing that both job types are difficult.  
  • Every once in a while one parent should give the other parent a relaxing day.  



What sometimes happens when one person works and the other stays home: 

The Person Working: 

  • Doesn't believe they should have to do anything else 
  • Doesn't feel that they everything should be split between the spouses 
  • Thinks that because they are the breadwinners, then they should have all say in what goes on in the home 
  • Believes they work harder 

The Person Staying at Home: 

  • Believes that they work harder than the other person so they shouldn't have to do anything.  
  • Thinks that because they have been home with the kids all day, the kids should be handed off to the spouse.  
  • Since they cooked twice already, the spouse should cook.  

Now, being a single parent there are many misconceptions of what really goes on and whose job is harder…..the mother or fathers.  

Let me put it to you like this. My dad was a single dad of two girls. I knew how hard it was for him. As a single mom myself, I can see how difficult it is on me as well.  

Now, my ex husband is also a single father. We have joint custody of our youngest two children. Our time is suppose to be split equally when we live in the same area. With him being a single dad and me being a single mom, I can kind of see what the difference is between us.  

The difference between my ex and I as a single parent:  

The ex (single dad): 
  • He was the breadwinner and still makes three times more than what I do (yes I'm serious). 
  • He has female friends that will help him watch the children because they seem to think that it is more difficult for a guy to be a single dad. (some have even mentioned feeling sorry for him and thinking he is an amazing person for doing this).  
  • If his house looks like a tornado hit it, people usually say that they understand because he has kids.  
  • He can go to a strip club and no one would blink an eye. (people seem to think that he needs a break from the kiddos) 
  • The kids could be wearing clothes from three days ago and people will laugh about it and make funny jokes about his mom skills.  

Myself (single mom): 
  • I don't make near as much as guys do in the same field that I work in.  
  • I have no one that will help with the kids while I work so I must pay someone to watch them.  
  • If my house is messy (which is never is) I would probably have comments made towards it.  
  • If I do happen to go out, there is always at least one nasty comment about me leaving my kids with a sitter. (because of this, I never go out anymore) 
  • If we decided to stay in our PJ's all day, I can almost guarantee at least one snide comment.  

I hope that you all see my point. So, tell me again why single dads think that they have it easier than single moms. I keep looking at the evidence and so far all I am seeing is a society that thinks when women are single moms they are simply just doing their jobs…but when dad's are single dads, they are the most courageous humans in the world. 
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