Tomorrow morning my kids will be waking up with no Christmas presents. I am recently separated from my husband and I was doing good income wise, but then I ended up getting laid off. I have never had to go through this before in my life and I feel like a shit bag mom.
I thought that for surely, I would be able to get my act together in time for Christmas, but it didn’t happen. I kept lying to myself and saying that I would get everything taken care of, and for me not to stress over it. Stressing over Christmas is kind of what parents do.
I know that my kids won’t be too upset about the present situation, or at least they won’t act like it if they are, but it is the simple fact that I know when they go back to school on, the teachers and kids are going to be asking what they got for Christmas and my children aren’t going to be able to tell them.
Now, here’s the kicker, their dad has another family and he wouldn’t know if his kids were doing alright or not because he never sees them. Our children are kind of an afterthought to him now. It is sad to say, but it is the way that he has presented himself, or not presented himself, in their lives.
My other problem is that my car is broke down. I had an accident a while back and haven’t been able to get it fixed and couldn’t pay for insurance. I am doing all that I can and I didn’t know that there were things such as the Angel Tree or churches that would help. Like I said, I am fairly new to not having money.
I don’t like asking for handouts and this is not what I am doing with this post. I am actually writing this post to tell you to be thankful for what you have because, come tomorrow morning, I get to be the mother that has to look her children in the eyes and tell them that they won’t have any Christmas presents. I am just glad that I didn’t do the entire Santa thing with my children, which would have been much harder to have explained to them on Christmas.
I’m still trying but I am scared as how this might end. I don’t have the family or the support that most people have. I am pretty much on my own and it scares me. This Christmas is going to be the worse one that I have ever had and I hope that my children do not have to go through this again.
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